quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
