She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
