Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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