Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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