I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
