It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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