butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
