it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
