i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The adults are the big ones right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
