I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
