she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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