So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
