I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
