and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
