Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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