I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
