What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I didn't shave. On purpose
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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