They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
