i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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