And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
