I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
