I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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