oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
