dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
