She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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