Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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