I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize