I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
