Your face is a jimmy john
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
