His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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