My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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