Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
