There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
