You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
