32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
