Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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