i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
