If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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