So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
