She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
