dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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