took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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