I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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