12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
