I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
