Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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