gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
