They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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