well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you win again, gameday.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
