Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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