My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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