Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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