she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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