Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
