just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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