so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
