I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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