I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
