well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize