Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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