dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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