But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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