Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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