ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, beer. Big fan.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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