There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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